4:32 pm.
my kind of tea party
ry: dude
ry: we went to el fenix for lunch today
me: wha
me: oh yeah?
ry: and I was explaining regular tea v sweet tea to the cow-orkers
me: haha
ry: one ordered sweet tea
ry: the other ordered regular tea
ry: and the waitress didn't blink
ry: it was awesome
me: rofl
ry: so yeah, I've got an army working on this now
ry: heh
me: i was hassled at burger street just yesterday about that again
ry: one waiter at a time
me: hahaha
me: that's fucking bad ass
ry: but the three of them were like hell yeah
ry: regular tea

Thanks to revwry for furthering our cause.

Help spread the good word:



12:07 am.
six forty nine
I haven't written a song in a while but I was inspired tonight. I hope you enjoy the lyrics to "six forty nine."

I saw a guy who had Jesus on his dashboard today
Not the real Jesus mind you but a one twenty-fourth scale replica
or maybe a twelfth
twelve being the same number as Jesus’ apostles
apostles being missionaries and missionary is a sexual position

We didn't come from monkeys
We came from stars
and monkeys are more like our cousins
but like cousins who can't build and drive cars
oh they probably would
if they could
but they don't have opposable thumbs

is it ok to just believe when nobody knows an answer
like what numbers am I thinking that three hundred twenty six is between of
I could say one and one thousand or one and six forty nine
six forty nine
six forty nine woah
six forty nine
not five thirty seven
not even ten thousand
but six forty nine

wait... sorry I was trippin'

We didn't come from monkeys
We came from stars
and monkeys are more like our cousins
but like cousins who can't build and drive cars
oh they probably would
if they could
but they don't have opposable thumbs
monkeys have no opposable thumbs



9:56 pm.
Since I don't think I can post this in the haiku community:
now fuck off mother
fucker god damn you son of
a bitch ass cunt bag



6:58 pm.
match a pick the perp facebook edition
I invented a new game a minute ago!!!

Upon a quick visit to PickThePerp.com, I realized two things:

  1. Perps are rarely happy in their mugshots and it would be interesting to see what they look like in better times.

  2. Their names are visible when you hover over their pictures.

Well, one thing led to another as they say and my new game was born. Here are the results of my first run:

Feel free to play at home and post your results.



11:11 pm.
In 1,111 characters or less
I believe I finally figured out why people have so emphatically embraced twitter.

By paying attention to my response from reading a few "tweets" after a meditation, I noticed how the brevity of a post caused me to spend more time thinking about what was said, imagining the set, setting, perspective, and entire point than I did actually reading about it.

In fact, by a factor of several times.

People enjoy being captivated and tossed into the realm of their imagination. In so few characters, such little is said that people are stuck with whatever they can dream up for themselves.

It's like going to a restaurant and only being served an appetizer before realizing that your waiter ended his shift without any concern for you whatsoever.

You're aroused but left to fend for yourself.

Anyway, I hate to do this but for the several of my lj friends who auto post their twitter feed to their lj...

I love you dearly and I hope we stay in touch but since I can't filter and I dislike reading one sentence disjointed thoughts, I'm likely going to unfriend you. But, please don't take it personally at all.



1:40 am.
Why KFC and Oprah are full of shit
I was starving for second rate tacos tonight and my nearest taco bell doubles as a KFC.

On the speaker, there was a passive aggressive sign that said something to the fact that people who have the Oprah coupon would have to come inside to redeem it.

Though I was, as I previously said, on a mission for d-list Mexican food, I inquired about this fascinating evolution of an attempt at public relations which, as I discovered, was pure marketing genius.

According to this location's manager, "there were 15,000 downloads of the Oprah/KFC coupon but over 30,000 people had presented a coupon for free chicken."

She furthered, "people didn't read the fine print and copied the coupon anyway."

Mind you, it was well apparent that she was regurgitating what at least one supervisor above her had said; rounded to the nearest thousand approximate numbers and all.

The reason she cited for the sudden change in manner of redemption (coupon for free chicken became walk inside and apply for a voucher to be mailed) was because "people were copying the coupons."

Here's the most fascinating thing, however:
Being a somewhat inquisitive tech savvy person with considerable web development experience and simultaneous access to a handful of networks, I casually discovered the Oprah offer virally and called up a coupon for myself because, hey, I like free as much as anyone else.

I noticed, however, that there was zero authentication for the request and a ridiculously generic numeric and identification mark set used to differentiate any given coupon individually.

With this in mind, I remoted to two other completely different computers on two other completely different networks and I requested the exact same coupon as if I had been an otherwise hapless visitor who discovered the link and wanted my free chicken from that system as well.

Guess what... each of the coupons were the exact same.

So, here is the evident marketing genius scenario:
1. Team up with someone with tremendous reach (i.e. Oprah).

2. Proclaim a completely absurd offer (i.e. Free chicken).

3. Rig the offer where otherwise honest people appear to be abusing it and then, subsequently, switch the offer into an opportunity for up sells (i.e. bring them inside and/or delay their free chicken when they are already hungry) or, even more mildly nefarious, turn it into a lead generation opportunity (collecting personal information so people can receive their coupon).

Publicity stunt? Accomplished...

...at the cost of, maybe, 30,000 $4 (retail) meals worth of whatever plus Oprah's cut.

Congratulations America, you've just been baited (with chicken no less) and switched.



1:43 am.
happy directory assistance day
In the USA, directory assistance can be reached by telephone when dialing "411."

Though I'm sure many of us have used this service even though it often replaced these days by a simple web search, 411 is known as "information or knowledge, especially when acquired by word of mouth."

To me, directory assistance or 411 represents a way to have your questions answered. A mainstream conduit, if you will, upon which one can at least eventually discover their truest answers.

Please join me in celebrating this avenue of discovery, directory assistance or 411, today - April 11 (4/11).


11:15 am.
happy .410 shotgun day
In my early youth, while learning about gun safety, I was introduced to the .410 shotgun.

Though I'm sure many of us have come in contact with this weapon, the small but mighty of the shotgun world, the .410 is known to be excellent for home defense because it's less likely to go through walls than its larger bore relatives but has the stopping power of a .44 magnum.

To me, the .410 shotgun is a "big things in small packages" metaphor. Though only .410 inches in diameter, it certainly brings upon a force to be reckoned with.

Please join me in celebrating this shotgun bore size today- April 10 (4/10).

10:59 am.
happy Formula 409 day
Oops.... forgot to hit post on this one yesterday...

As a kid, my favorite commercials for a household cleaner were for "Formula 409."

Though I'm sure many of us remember those television spots or even use the cleaner today, the makers of Formula 409 declare this product as "A cleaner powerful enough to dissolve through grease and dirt on contact."

To me, Formula 409 represents tenacity and persistence. In fact, this wonder-concoction received its name from being the 409th formula the inventors of it tested. Had they stopped at 374, as an example, not only would we not have such a fantastic cleaner, we wouldn't be able to hold it in our thoughts as elegantly on a numerically similar calendar day.

Please join me in celebrating this inspiring kitchen surface cleaning agent today- April 9 (4/09).


1:26 am.
happy day of file not found
My favorite HTTP error code happens to be "404 Not Found."

Though common to most of us, it is further defined as:
The requested resource could not be found but may be available again in the future. Subsequent requests by the client are permissible.

To me, 404 represents a dead end but certainly nothing final. A denial, if you will, but an acknowledgement that it's okay to hope and, at some point, try again in the future.

Please join me in celebrating this error code today- April 4 (4/04).



9:46 am.
Interview with Ted from TD Ameritrade
TD Ameritrade, an online brokerage, introduced a character based virtual assistant type customer service system today. He goes by the name of Ted and, depending upon your question, he directs you to web pages while audibly expanding upon his text based answers.

Because it was his first day on the job, I thought it was a great opportunity to interview him and here's how it went.

Me: How do you like working for TD Ameritrade?
Ted: Frankly, I can't imagine myself working anyplace else. Nothing is more satisfying than providing TD AMERITRADE clients with the answers they need.

Me: That answer sounds a little too diplomatic, how do you really feel?
Ted: I would love to help you, but I'm not sure I understand your question. Please try rewording your question.

Me: Right. Well, since we aren't gaining any progress in that direction, what's the formula for cocacola?
Ted: We offer a Help Center with a Formula Building tool, a Quick-Start guide, a User Manual, and a Formula and Syntax guide to help you to get the most out of the StrategyDesk tool. To access the Help Center, click "Help" and then "StrategyDesk Help Center."

Me: ...and what are the eleven herbs and spices in kentucky fried chicken?
Ted: Here in Omaha, we really like our steaks.

Me: What will be the highest and lowest points of trading for the S&P500 on Tuesday March 4, 2009
Ted: The "Markets" overview page under Research & Ideas provides you with market news, a view of the major indices, the day's most active stocks, and links to reports. Also, there's an event calendar for items such as earnings, dividends, splits and more.



5:56 pm.
cosmology school drop-out
You know, the idea that there's an infinite number of universes holding an infinite number of reality occurrences is complete and total bullshit. I think it's called multiverse or quantum universe theory and, on my way to try some catfish, it hit me how utterly absurd the entire notion is.


4:06 pm.
racism response
I'm going to do my best to not enter arguments over race, black presidents making up for slavery, and whether or not racism still exists- I'll just log this here and not waste time moving forward:

The cost of slavery, racism, and wearing bling.Collapse )


12:10 am.
the race is over
Wow. That was a shocker (I called it in February)

One thing I truly do look forward to with Obama as President is seeing social shifts in the black community due to his example. Sure, black men will find loopholes in his past as an excuse for his success. They will say that they don't have the opportunities he did when they instead aren't making the same sacrifices to be as resourceful. However, it's about time we had something other than a white male as commander in chief.

Random investments thought: Sell investments in the defense and energy sectors and buy companies in stem cell research, biotech, energy (solar and wind not coal no matter how clean)... and, of course because they're on sale, banking. I'm extremely liquid at the moment because I'm depending upon short term cash flow but stem cell research and banking have some serious promise for the long term- particularly under a democratic administration.

My biggest hope is that people never forget that it's not government that makes us strong, it's us- the individuals. The people; not the programs or benefits or bureaucracy; not the people with their hands out; not even the shell game taking money from one person and a little from the sky to hand to someone else; but the people who dare to have dreams and give up just about everything to chase them.



4:59 pm.
Bush Doctrine (Fact Fold Divided Realities)
A lot of babble has been made about Palin not knowing what the "Bush Doctrine" is.

I found it amusing how everyone is, "I can't believe she didn't know" when, the entire time I was thinking, "who the fuck named what... that?"

This is a good example of positioning- a fascinating component of persuasion theory and an incredibly effective tool at associating opinions around a concept.

Frame something negatively, it then becomes negative. Frame something positive, it becomes equally positive. Because people tend to not ask the basic questions out of the fear of also looking ignorant, it easily bends the subjective or slanted into widely accepted constructs.

Is the "Bush Doctrine" an official term?

By definition, not at all. It's a term coined in the media.



articleCollapse )

So, in other words... the next opportunity you have to discuss psychology, communication, or even relationships or politics with someone, ask them what "Fact Fold Divided Realities" are with the confidence they should know. (Protip: be sure to have them in a moment of vulnerability so that their NOT knowing should cause embarrassment.)

Then explain to them, condescendingly, that "Fact Fold Divided Realities" are "when someone pulls an obscure phrase out of their ass to describe something and then pretends everyone should understand it in its proper context."

When observers or even your subject runs a google search to verify the accuracy of your explanation, they'll see this entry (I just now coined the term) and discover that you are indeed well informed and your condescending tone was justified because your subject is obviously an idiot.



4:44 pm.
why modern intelligent and resourceful people have trouble breeding
I've been thinking a lot about how conversation has changed and why the Internet has negatively affected it.

This for example:
People's relationships have always been about proximity. Obviously, circle of influence is entirely based upon geography and the ability to leverage communication over distance.

From that point of view, the Internet connects people who would have never been able to become acquainted otherwise- whether it be through common interest or goal.

While this is amazing, the Internet has destroyed one of the most powerful components of conversation as a means to build relationships: the question.

Questions are bond building.

Don't believe me? Ask someone about an interest they hold. When you do, your indication of interest demonstrated gives them a subtle but powerful alert toward your respect, appreciation, or admiration.

This opportunity to answer a question gives the answerer a chance to experience themselves through sharing their knowledge- incidentally, an opportunity to feel good about themselves.

Because people participate with others for what they experience within, that positive sensation is vital to building strong friendships and relationships.

These days, we're expected to either know the answer or to be competent at finding it.

After all, we have Google to thank for categorizing information in a way that can let anybody with two to five keywords know anything about any topic that any human has even thought of thus far.

The damage happens when a person could care less about the topic but hopes to learn about the person. With the opportunity to ask basic questions deferred to the expectation that people should "just google it," the opportunity for someone to answer with their well formed opinion (and personality) is taken away.

Neither the questioner or answerer gain.

To illustrate:
Person 1 finds Person 2 and their obsession with ________ interesting. Not that they find _______ altogether interesting but Person 2 intrigues them and has an interest. Therefore asking about ________ is merely an opportunity to connect with another real life living human.

If Person 1 asks a question and Person 2 responds, "use Google," do you really think Person 1 is going to ask a question without reservation again?

Of course not- people, especially the ones who put the effort in to being smart, hate to look stupid.

Now with that opportunity to let others stimulate dialogue through answers lost, an unbalance toward observational statements is created. Declaring your opinion on a topic or an observation is another conversational tool but it sets a tone for a completely different type of conversation, history of dialogue, with a final consequence of less strong relationships.

My theory being as follows:
The strongest friendships and lasting emotional bonds occur when you help someone realize their true worth and greatest potential. In other words, relationships aren't about you or how you are seen in the eyes of others, relationships are about how others experience themselves when they interact with you.

While questions are about them, observational statements are about you.

Though proactively sharing your unsolicited opinion adds to the cohesiveness of the experience, doing so is a lot like the up stroke on a bicycle. Although reciprocation is needed, progression isn't powered through doing so.

Time and time again, the best way to break the ever building ice is to ask a question.

(To be continued)



12:50 am.
fox framing services
This evening on the news, they showed footage of Obama feeding a baby calf with a bottle as you do when they are nursing. Him in his suit, people were standing around him and taking pictures as he was on some farm or something- wherever this cow was. The anchor was talking about his visit there.

Then they showed footage of Hillary addressing an audience. The anchor explained that even though Hillary has blamed subprime lending as a reason for the current economy, her campaign manager was a director for a NY subprime mortgage lender than is now bankrupt.

Texas news organizations have endorsed Obama but it's interesting to see how subtle their daily endorsements are becoming.


8:04 pm.
Arthur C. Clarke 12.16.1917 - 03.19.2008
"Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories. "

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible."

"The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion."

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God - but to create him."

"We have to abandon the idea that schooling is something restricted to youth. How can it be, in a world where half the things a man knows at 20 are no longer true at 40 - and half the things he knows at 40 hadn't been discovered when he was 20?"

"If we have learned one thing from the history of invention and discovery, it is that, in the long run, and often in the short one, the most daring prophecies seem laughably conservative."


10:09 am.
how gas has become like watered down wine
The news last night was talking about gas prices.

They didn't make any correlation what so ever to the money-from-thin-air move that the federal reserve pulled out of their ass "behind the curtain" on Tuesday. They only showed people looking at gas pumps and gas station price signs with their jaw gaping open and shrugs of "uhh.. i don't know."

Gas isn't the problem. The catastrophe is with the dollar.

In five minutes or less, anyone can understand this fundamental of macroeconomics (if not most all of them).

It's really that simple.

Here, let's give it a shot:
Your dollar is a dollar only because someone says so and the more of them they make, the less each one is worth.

On Tuesday, they made more money (pumped more into a failing economy) and that caused you to need more of whatever it is in your pocket to buy stuff.

It's like having a really great bottle of wine and way too many guests. Watering it down does nothing for anybody. While, in fact, watering down your kick ass wine wastes the wine while the best thing to do is keep things corked until the crowd leaves.

Why are they watering down the wine (read: diluting the currency)? Well, they don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable (read: shitty economy).

Too late.

1:13 am.
well rounded
Happy Pi Day. Celebrate.