mortality cartographer (beeooll) wrote,
mortality cartographer

Think, anticipate, watch... then react.

I anticipated when I should have reacted. The dive this morning came welcome and about -13 I was surprised... the timing for the intraday was coming up, things were aligning to reverse so instead of waiting, I went ahead and just got rid of the last... only to see it go to -22. Damn I could have used that extra- but it was gravy... my only goal is survival.

Seeing the move this week- 50pts in 3 days and me holding on for dear life as it shot. Nothing goes in a straight line normally so it will be interesting to see the next few days.

I'm learning a lot. I'm observing even more... thankfully I am reaping some rewards in the process.

Amazing what a complex feeling I have.. thankful yet wishing I had waited... amazed yet expecting it. Really I can't at all beat myself up on this because already in a short while I've brought it all around and come a long way. I need to maintain perspective, keep my head relatively level, continue the goal of survival, excercise patience and gratitude... and move forward with an open mind.

There is an art to this science and occasionally it looks like I can only fingerpaint... but at least I'm getting the canvas dirty. :)

For the longest time I had this weird thought come over me after a few profitable trades... almost like "well, i've had a few good trades and it's likely to be soon for a loss." Almost everytime that happend, it would turn into a self fulfilling prophecy... usually much more damaging financially than allowable.

Through all of this I've noticed a shift in my psychology... I began to start thinking that a while back... like three or four trades back. Noticing it, I was able to kill that thought virus with a spray of it doesn't have to be that way.

In other words, I released that idea that I had to have a loosing trade. Since then, although clumsy in areas, I have gained a bit of consistency and without question considerable increase in return.

Keeping it small, simplifying the complex, heavy use of discipline, have each paid off so far. I strongly hope and will certainly work my ass off to insure that they do in the future.

Imagination. Patience. Peace.
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