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mortality cartographer's Journal - Day

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

12:02PM - winner of a prize

I had an old monitor that needed tossing and a laser disc player (the like 13 or so inch wide, obsolete and never caught on technology variety)/cd changer combo that no longer loaded discs. I took them down stairs for trash pickup last night and this morning I noticed that the laser disc player had been taken. Had I known someone would want that broken piece of shit, I would have stacked the three Laser Discs that I threw away next to it so they could really be proud of themselves.

This morning has been really odd. Good morning but odd.

I wonder how someone can get to be pushing forty and never figure out that when they act out in an attempt to deny someone their success or happiness, they are actually taking time out to deny themselves of the same. Essentially, the energy they spend on being ridiculous and giving substance to the external non tangible could have been used to wade through their daily bullshit easier, if not achieve their wildest dreams. I hope I never let go of this. I hope it's never kicked out of my hands (hard enough not to catch it before it shatters).

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