mortality cartographer (beeooll) wrote,
mortality cartographer
beeooll

things I want to do before I die (in no particular order)

1. Buy a $45k+ class luxury SUV and paint it camouflage with Krylon® spray paint.

2. Get pilot's license.

3. Turn making fun of telemarketers when they call to sell you something, thereby denying them the opportunity to poorly read some horribly written sales pitch, into a national pass time.

4. Convince someone to expose themselves to a group of pedestrian nuns.

5. Hold at least one patent.

6. Witness the end to the prohibition of Marijuana in the United States.

7. Own a sailplane and frequently ride the thermals.

8. Live in Tibet for at least three months.

9. Scream with joy for the guy standing at the ATM after he makes a successful withdrawal (i still think that's funny.)

10. Kill Kenny.

11. Publish this journal and have millions of poor bastards actually pay me money for a hard covered version of it.

12. See listings on ebay for forged signed copies of what was mentioned in #11.

13. See Geraldo Rivera retire (preferably as soon as possible).

14. Ultimately hold in net worth the equivalent of one dollar for every human being in the country of China. (according to the 1982 census [because it's a cool number] - 1,008,180,000)

15. Acquire the habit to end every sentence fragment with , "You know what I'm sayin?"

16. Adopt a highway.

17. Spend a week touring coffee shops in Amsterdam.

18. Get over my phobia of grasshoppers.

19. Avoid having a church wedding; instead, opting for intimacy and a more natural environment.

20. Practice without fail what I preach.

more to come eventually...
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