mortality cartographer (beeooll) wrote,
mortality cartographer

I don't have the energy to be cryptic

So this marks 1000 entries. A good lot of people have far exceeded that but I didn't ever believe that I would have that much to say, or write about for that matter.

For the past couple of weeks I have considered putting "The End" for this entry and moving on. I enjoy writing but the sharing it part. I dunno.

I have people that read this and think whatever they think as they see the words that would never come out of my mouth. The fact of the matter is that I am every volatile emotion, every half baked idea, each and every radical thought... and somewhere in between.

Sometimes I wonder how bad I freak people out. Sometimes I wonder how anyone could take me seriously... and sometimes I wonder why they don't. Oddly, often I'm too busy to notice.

The journal began, not too long ago, in the middle of hopeless desperation. Today, I take the first vacation, however brief that it may be, to anywhere besides "home" in a few years. That's progress. Going to look at another duplex in thirty minutes... that's progress too. Each of these entries have been progress... even when they seem otherwise.

This week has been the most support intensive we've ever had at work. Changing the authentication system has, well, I would like to crawl into a little ball this weekend but instead, I'm going to one of the most densely populated areas on the planet. Drive the car off of the edge why don't we.

So anyway, for what it's worth, there are no destinations for life, just many intricate, sometimes interwoven, never ending paths.
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