Nope... I wanna take that one further.
My lil bro, 11, never ceases to amaze me. We live far apart but thankfully we are perty close... I've been hearing from the 'rents about a lil girl that has a thing for him... all the misc. stories involved with a 5th grade romance... last night after asking him if he had someone special that he gave a valentine card to his response through me for a loop... more due to the fact of a "wow, this lil kid that I've watched grow up, there when he was born, held and watched him as a baby, watched him learn how to walk, watched him start school... wow... now I'm watching him trying to make sense out of peer relationships and the balancing act between those and girls... wow..."
Did you have anyone special to give a valentine to dude?
"No.... *long pause* Did you?"
No little man, I didn't... not this year.
Well what kiddo? Didja?
"Well I didn't want to give her a valentine"
So you did have someone special then... that is awesome! Why didn't you want to give her a valentine?
"Well... I like her but my friends were teasing me about her."
Well dude... that's kinda friends' job... to tease you about stuff... you should listen to your friends because sometimes... not always... they can see things in a way you can't and can sometimes have good advice... most of the time though... when they simply tease... it means that they just don't understand what you're going through... make any sense?
See what matters is what you think and feel... If you like this girl, you should be nice to her... give her a valentine... and forget what your friends think.
And of course being 11, the conversation went on for a bit about her but quickly changed to scooters... Absolutely fine of course but at least I was hopefully able to put a positive influence on something that, as I know from my personal experience, can snowball.
I was at least 24 before I realized my feelings, especially regarding romance, were nothing to hide... that the teasing is simply that... teasing. So easily misunderstood as judgment.
I remember being like 2 or so... still able to sit in the child seat of a shopping cart... and have my parents say shit like "look at him, he's flirting" In reference to my interactions with much older, non potentially romantic store clerks... Tease, tease, tease... some of the shit they would say... although they never knew it at the time... was never coupled with words to give strenght. Some kids are fortunate enough to never need it... Those words in my child like non objective analysis made me believe that those feelings were something to be ashamed of... something that I should conceal... if nothing more than to simply stay away from the needless and for me all tooo loud noise of people teasing.
That affected me through high school and college... pathetic huh? Some people learn some things slowly. :-)
Anyway... I've shared with the 'rents all that and thankfully they could see my point. I believe that they've taken that into consideration as mah lil bro grows up... I have a funny feeling though he's fortunate enough to be the type of kid that is strong willed enough that it wouldn't matter either way.
He's kinda incredible like that. ;-)