mortality cartographer (beeooll) wrote,
mortality cartographer

I'm observing an internal inefficiency.
I attack issues with either too much or too little intensity.
I sense result as either drained or misunderstood.
I rarely if ever, at least lately, intentionally strip.
My words are intended to communicate, to inspire, to provoke thought, or to empower.
To give back what was given.
To repay what I borrowed.
To calm fears and worries of speculation from home.
It's almost funny that right now, when everything is OK... when I feel better than I have ever had previously... when I've become more secure... when I've achieved a moment of unbridled joy and peace in the moment. When I'm looking at the face of uncertainty and laughing at him as I finally now see him for how he is.
... Now, they begin to worry.
Where were they when all I could hold together were the thoughts of ending it all?

"Something kind of sad about the way that things have come to be. Desensitized to everything - what became of subtlety?"

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